? to Women--- Ever had a "Clinging Vine" problem with a man?

I'm concerned about a female friend involved with a no-class man who thinks that his relationship with her is permanent. Every weekend he leaves his dump apartment and enjoys staying at her very nice condo in an affluent area, where he behaves as if "it's OUR place". Because he needs her so much more than she needs him, and she has so much more to offer than he has ,I warned her that he won't accept a termination of the relationship which is far more important to him than it is to her.He thinks he "owns" her.





How can she shed this (very) Clinging Vine ?

? to Women--- Ever had a "Clinging Vine" problem with a man?
Ah, so you got a little thing for this woman do ya? Let her handle her relationship, it's best if you don't give her advice, just stay out of it. If she didn't want him around I'm sure she wouldn't be with him.
Reply:Kick him to the curb! Simple
Reply:Just point things out to her when he does them. trust me over time she will see it and leave him, the same thing happened to me. but the guy i dated was crazy.
Reply:Sounds like he could be dangerous and your friend should be very careful .
Reply:What if she loves him and doesn't care if he would benefit more, money wise, than her?


I think you should mind your own business. It's not always about who has more. It's about love.
Reply:She has to tell him, I mean really tell him "look, guy you are gettin on my nerves i am not yours this isn't your place and i want you out!" if that's what SHE wants but if it isn't then she must cherish something in him that you dont and that may be YOUR problem and not hers, she might be fine with letting him stay there on the weekends and do as he pleases so maybe you need to not worry about-- although i know its hard b/c you care about her and you feel like she could do better but its her decision and unless she wants out you cant do much.
Reply:SHE MUST GET HIM TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH HER FIRST. LIKE SHE SHOULD GO TO HIS PLACE AND MAKE HIM CLEAN IT UP AND MAKE HIM GET A JOB. SHE NEEDS TO PUT IT TO HIM STRAIGHT THAT IF HE HAS NOTHING TO OFFER FOR THE RELATIONSHIP, IT WILL DIE. SHE NEEDS TO TELL HIM THAT SHE IS NOT HIS PROPERTY OR ANYONES!!
Reply:She can tell him to back off and stop letting him come around. She might very well be leading him on or like the attention she is getting from this person. It's up to her to be rid of him...if she truly wants to, she will. Even if she has to get a restraining order or an order of protection to do so. If his feelings are an issue, It is her place to administer the 'tough love' it will take to get him to back off.
Reply:Sounds like you have a probelem with this guy. I feel a little jealousy coming from you. You appear to be a snob and think that what you have is more important then who you are.
Reply:It doesn't sound like she wants to dump him. Why is it any of your business? In that case, I would change my phone number. Or put a block on the number. in my case it was easy to move apartments, but then again, maybe the condo has security.
Reply:Danger! If your friend has a Large %26amp; Horrible Dad or Brother or Uncle, now's the time for them to drop in when creepo is 'visiting'...a fix with the old reptilian family eyeball is a good beginning. When a creepo starts thinking 'ownership', he's also thinking 'control', and if he feels either is threatened, he may escalate to dangerous behavior--to include thumps, vandalism [flat, vehicle, whatever]. Your friend need not be a melancholy statistic, so enlist some Large %26amp; Horribles to flash creepo the message that the lady has Resources.
Reply:so im guessin u hv some feelings for her....b/c of that u gotta back off....its her relationship....she can take care of it...if shes not that worried or she doesn want to end it as much as u wud like her to then the relationship will never end....


but u can always b there for her wenever she gets into some kinda mess.....thats the most u can do....
Reply:if he's using her for the thing she owns that one thing...if he genuinely loves her then it doesnt matter that she has more...in relationships one party always has more than the other. alot of loser guys do get girls and use them for there possessions though. if this is the case she need to just dump his a55. tell him he doesnt have the charateristics that she needs in a man so she's moving on.
Reply:Have you bothered to ask her if she wants to dump him. Don't just assume that she feels the same way about him that you do. Maybe she likes how he clings to her. Maybe it makes her feel loved and needed. Unless you can read minds, then you have no way of knowing until you ask her. Besides, why is her relationship your concern? You sound a little clingy yourself. Good luck.
Reply:first, what attracted her to a man that can't contribute to what she is doing for herself. I think that she will continue to see this guy until she realizes he's no good. What you should do is listen to her and let her know here and there how you feel...so she will start to lean towards your way. But keep an eye because this guy seems like he will do anything to keep her supporting him.
Reply:She should tell him the relationship is over and change the locks on her condo. Also if it is gated she needs to to contact the property manager. If he begins stalking her she should get a restraining order. if she doesn't like the guy she needs to get rid of him now before he becomes too serious.
Reply:Well for one thing - it's really none of your business unless she's asked you specifically for help. I don't mean that in a rude way. I just mean, her love life is her business. If SHE wants to terminate the r'ship, then the only mature thing to do is break up with him in person. But FIRST - before she breaks up with him, make sure she has changed the locks to her apartment and that she doesn't park in her usual location. She needs to change up her routine a little after she breaks up with him. Perhaps you're underestimating how well he'll take the news. There are always richer women out there for him to cling on to. So, he may not count it as a big loss. I know you just want what's best for your friend. She deserves someone with the same goals in life. But if she's getting what she needs out of the r'ship, then perhaps it's time to just butt out and let her handle it.